Bio-Builder Productions. Director: LordStarscream100.
Creature Feature Bleachers Award: Best Shark.
Note: To avoid confusion with the 2012 Brett Kelly film of the same name, I will refer to Lordstarscream100’s version as “Jurassic Shark [Made by Kids].”
What an age to live in. Just a few years ago, you could only watch movies made by your own children. In our marvelous new world, the Internet allows you to enjoy feature length films produced entirely by someone else’s kids. Yes, this is a sharksploitation film made by kids, and yes, it is nearly an hour and a half long. In all honesty, I can’t really recommend “Jurassic Shark [Made by Kids]” as a fantastic viewing experience, but I heartily commend these kids for their effort. “Jurassic Shark [Made by Kids]” is not the worst sharksploitation film I’ve seen. Not even close. That’s why I like this movie so much— with a budget that couldn’t have been higher than $50 (if that), these kids were able to make something more enjoyable than a lot of the other sharksploitation films out there. I hope they will keep it up and hone their technical skills a bit for the promised sequel.
An evil person lets loose a modified shark from the basement of InGen labs. The shark immediately begins wreaking havoc on the Pennsylvania countryside. Fortunately, its first victim inadvertently tapes the attack, allowing the crack shark-hunting team of Drake Matthews (Will M), Chase Landon (Jon M), Dan Bruines (Ben M), and others to track it down. Over the course of the next two weeks, this resilient band of warriors ventures out into the woods daily in search of the shark. Some tragically fall in the quest, but Chase ultimately defeats the Jurassic Shark, securing the neighborhood from this awesome threat.
While “Jurassic Shark [Made by Kids]” isn’t a great movie, it’s hard to dislike it (though you may want to fast forward through some of the middle parts). These kids obviously love “Jurassic Park” and “Jaws” a whole heck of a lot, and you can tell that they had an absolute blast making this film. How many other sharksploitation films can say that? Plus the kids had the foresight to place a disclaimer at the beginning of their film:
“Jurassic Shark [Made by Kids]” does have some technical shortcomings which detract from its enjoyability. Again, though, this is not the most technically painful film we’ve seen. These kids couldn’t afford a steadicam, but their cinematography is still superior to that of “Psycho Shark.” Their night photography is underexposed and hard to see, but nowhere near as bad as that of “Shark!” The loud soundtrack often covers up the dialogue, but you can still hear better than in “Terror Storm.” All in all, this movie— which, to reiterate, was made by a bunch of children on a “limited budget”— falls on the lower end of the production values scale, yet it’s not at the bottom.
In fact, one technical aspect of this film outshines most other sharksploitation films: the shark. The best part of “Jurassic Shark [Made by Kids]” is without a doubt the shark attack scenes, and the shark prop plays no small role in this enjoyability. As a brief e-mailing scene explains, InGen scientists outfitted the shark with internal engines that allow it to fly. They also covered it in a thin layer of felt (purpose unknown). I think “Robo-Shark” would be a more apt descriptor than “Jurassic Shark,” but the result is awesome either way.
This shark reminds me a lot of Gypsy from “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” And, to the kids’ credit, you never see the person operating the shark. They planned their shots well and kept things tight. In fact, I’m still not entirely sure how they managed the movement of the shark’s mouth.
Taken at face value, “Jurassic Shark [Made by Kids]” presents a very intriguing universe in which a small band of children are the only thing separating the world from utter devastation. The characters never refer to their own age, but without any explicit information to the contrary, it seems safe to assume that they are in fact meant to be children. By contrast, there are no adult actors whatsoever. And yet, these kids obviously live in a world populated by adults. Uncaring, oblivious, cruel adults who can’t be bothered to open their eyes to the threat around them. Seriously, the ever-present-but-never-seen adults seemingly couldn’t care less about the plight of the neighborhood’s children. The best instance of this apathy is the fact that the stalwart kids must communicate by word of mouth and travel around by bike, while ignorant adults whiz by in their fancy cars.
In conclusion, I can’t necessarily recommend watching “Jurassic Shark [Made by Kids,]” but I am very happy that it exists. I hope that Lordstarscream100 will make good on his promise of a sequel, as I think that with an additional year’s worth of film making experience under his belt, he could probably produce a fairly decent movie. Fingers crossed!
The trailer is pretty representative:
“Jurassic Shark [Made by Kids]” can be viewed in its entirety on YouTube.